So I bleached my hair...

I know I haven't updated in a long while, but for some reason I missed writing and blogging and stuff so here I am!

OKAY SO STORY TIME...

I've always wanted to dye my hair a pretty color. Like, pink or green. Ganern. I figured that if it's something I really want to do, I should do it now while I'm in my twenties; mainly because I've been told that this kind of lifestyle is like really expensive and I felt like I won't have time to do it anymore if I waited a few more years (kind of exaggerated but wth).

So I read about everything--the dyes, the bleaching, how to maintain, DIYs etc. That was sometime November.

the only other time I had done anything to my hair was around New Years 2016 (so around a year ago) and all I had done was a reddish ombre. I was so psyched with just a little difference in my hair, so you could just imagine how I reacted to a full head of blonde lol.

I had my hair bleached for the first time at a salon. I figured it's not too expensive naman (around P500), and I'd like to see how they do it. And I learned:

1. Do not wash your hair at least a day before bleaching. The hair oils thing is legit.
2. Your scalp will itch, or worse, burn. So do the oil thing.
3. Let your hair rest before doing anything on top of the bleach.

In reference to item # 3, I did wait an entire week before I had my second round of bleaching. My hair was about three shades away from what I wanted to accomplish.

About a month before bleaching (yay! birthday!)

Two days after bleaching (my first day at the office as blonde. AFAM daw lol)

To me it looked pretty. All the yellow-ness looked pretty to me. I didn't know what brassy was.

BUT DAMN DID IT DAMAGE MY HAIR. IT FELT LIKE STRAW THE NEXT DAY WHEN I SHOWERED. I NEVER HAD HAIR THIS DRY (MY HAIR WAS ALMOST VIRGIN BEFORE I HAD IT BLEACHED). Dati, shampoo lang, okay na. Now I can't leave the bathroom without putting conditioner. #deds

Anyway, I had my hair bleached the second time after a week. I was hesitant to go back to the same salon because he let my hair soak in the stuff for more than an hour. Sabi sa research, it should take about 20-40 minutes lang. I went to other salons but all of them told me it would take two hours minimum (application + soak), which I think is too damaging... and they're also hella expensive (P1.5k on just bleach, compared to P500). Oh well.

And so off I went to the salon again. I asked Nicole, my stylist, to just do it in 30 minutes. She was okay naman, it was my hair anyway. Lessons learned:

1. Know the stuff your hairstylists use.
2. Feel free to tell them that you feel bleach shouldn't be in your hair for more than an hour.
3. Bring something to do lol

This was hours after the second bleaching

Again, in reference to item # 1, I didn't bother asking what stuff she used on my hair, so I ended up just a teensy tiny bit blonder than I already was. I didn't go pale blonde as much as I'd hope after two rounds of bleaching.

Oh well.

So bottomline: I am blonde, and the story of how I DIY-ed my toner is another story.


Lovelots,

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Anxiety is the real monster

My parents never really taught me to fear ghosts or monsters. My dad, in particular, have always said that our fear of anything results from not knowing (I've written about this before, you may read it here) or understanding. That, if I happen to see a ghost or monster, I should be curious and inspect it and try to understand. I grew up with a mission to stop and analyze almost everything I have the potential to fear.

"Social Anxiety" by Lightisfar on deviantart.com

Recently, I've had to deal with a lot of pressure. I've been in this job, my first actual job, for a few weeks now, and the pressure is starting to dawn on me. I've met with a lot of other different types and amounts of pressure in my 20 years, but it's different out here in the “real world” simply because it's not just me who's involved. My work now affects a lot of other people in ways that are different from when I was in college or some other setting.

I don't easily crack under pressure. I'd like to think I still have a long way to go before I do. Everyone who knows me and sees me do anything knows this. If there's anything I'm consistent with, it's bullshitting my way out of things and keeping my head together. I'm anxious a lot of times, but almost never about my work. I'm fairly confident about myself and whatever I'm doing.

Which is why it's getting really tough to wrap my head around why I feel so anxious about this job. Well, according to Freud anyway, neurotic anxiety is apprehension to unknown danger. But that's the thing-- I already know why the job is pressuring, and I already have a pretty good picture in my head describing it, so it's not that really “unknown”.

So why am I still anxious? I know there's a pretty good chance I'll never find out; on the other hand, I'd really like to bet that I'm going to find out. I guess I just need a little more time.

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Your Ex Can Go F* Himself

So hey, I made a new Spotify playlist for y'all and it's centered along your-ex-can-go-f*-himself-amirite hahahaha.

It features a lot of punk, pop, and punk pop but I'm working on mixing in other genres. All lyrics have been screened and I'm trying to put in just vibed-up songs (no slow, emo stuff so you can totally bask in the warmth and glow of your hatred lol).

What else uh

Okay I know this isn't the healthiest way to deal with someone screwing you over, but just ya know, let people acknowledge and release all that tension. There's even an actual study about how listening to angsty music can actually help you cope.

So there

As of publishing, these are a few songs on the playlist:

1. Everything Back But You - Avril Lavigne
2. So What - P!nk
3. Too Much Too Soon - Green Day
4. Hate Your Guts - McBusted
5. Really Don't Care - Demi Lovato
6. Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Things
7. Gives You Hell - All-American Rejects

plus many more


If you have a few other suggestions, let me know and I'll check it out :)

Check out the playlist here.



Thanks and love ya!

- xosigrid

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I wasn't trying to steal your man

I wasn't trying to steal your man

the day you saw me with him.

He was so in love, if one could miss it

His eyes were just so mad;

From a distance you could feel

he had butterflies and a dizzy cloud of stars on his beautiful head.

I wasn't trying to steal your man.

He was so in love with you.

Even if I wanted to,

There was just no way, anyway.

And every time he smiled

You just knew it was because he was with you.

I wasn't trying to steal your man.

I could tell you wore your favorite perfume today,

I could smell it off his jacket.

The scent was strong,

But not as strong as I am.

I miss you.

I wasn't trying to steal your man.

I was trying to tell him to stay in love with you,

because I made the mistake of letting go.

An original literary piece by Sigrid Vasquez

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#LetLoveIn: The Pride 2016 Experience

I've been a supporter of the LGBT cause for years, but this was really my first time going to the Pride Parade. For those of you interested, let me tell you how it was like:

1. L O V E. Just love, all over the place. You can smile or wave your flag at someone's face and be smiled at and waved at, and you really just fucking know that that person only wishes you love and happiness. You can see in everyone's eyes that they're there to spread love and good vibes, kahit haggardo versoza na because mum, mainit.

2. HOME. It feels like home.

I'm straight, but damn did everyone made you feel belong. If you were LGBTQ+, and you were very closeted, baka maiyak ka just seeing people wearing rainbow shirts and bands (ako nga nagsusulat lang nito, naiiyak eh). But yung sobrang natouch lang talaga ako, and my boyfriend can vouch for this, yung mej naiyak lang yung frenny mo nung sabay sabay kumanta ng Born This Way yung crowd. No, they weren't singing it like they hated the world for hating them, but they were singing it as if celebrating themselves.

3. SUPPORT. "Maki-beki, wag ma-shokot!"

While this is a mainly a celebration of love, syempre di na natin palalagpasin yung chance to shout out and push for the passing of legislations, esp the strengthening of the Anti-Discrimination Bill. If I'm not mistaken, yung gig ng Filipino Freethinkers were placards with flags of countries where there's marriage equality. Of course we can hope (and we hope so much) that this happens in the PH soon.

4. HOPE, and not just for the LGBT.

The LGBT movement has been around for a long time, so long that for sure it felt hopeless multiple times in history. But seeing these people, all this love and strength as a community, gives us hope. These people are allowing us to believe and strive for whatever seems impossible.

5. Daming pogi. Charot hahahahahaha

But seriously, everyone was glowing, and the Proud were looking very FABULOUS!

6. "God's love is stronger than hate"

This is whole other discussion, but it's touching to see those who you don't expect to be on your side but are holding up the same banners and flags as you. If there's one thing I believe about God, is that he is a God of love.

7. Lots of corporate support

Dami naming companies, mostly BPOs na nakita with their own banners and gigs. It's good to know that the industries are shifting in support of the LGBT (but to give credit, they have been naman for a long time). In one article I read, the BPO industry is one of the most accommodating to the LGBT, nicknamed a "haven for gender-nonconforming people". Read more:https://www.buzzfeed.com/…/the-philippines-call-center-revo…

I urge you to come to the next #‎MetroManilaPrideParade (or Quezon City ata yung next?) and see all of these for yourself. Promise, beh. Lablab!

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Wanna Know Your Guy A Little Bit Better? Take Him Grocery Shopping

Wanna know your guy a little bit better? In a different light? Take him grocery shopping.

Let him deal with having to carry your shopping basket or push around the shopping cart while you zigzag through people in the supermarket.

Watch him go nuts in the junk food aisle. Take note of which chips he grabs first. Does he get dip? Did he decide so easily?

Tell him all about the different cuts of meat. And no, they're not the same thing.

Then he'll make immature jokes passing by the cold cuts area. Trust me.

He will try to get ice cream, so prepare to explain to him that you can't get ice cream right now because it will melt, that he'll have to go back when you're almost done.

Ask him to get vegetables. Does he return empty-handed, saying there were a lot of vegetables and he can't pick? Or does he outright gets too much?

Talk about your Mood Kit: chocolates, junk food.

Let his face light up watching cute kids running around. Let him be annoyed by the same running kids.

How does he react to empty shelves? Or when his favorite ramen is out of stock?

Does he pick up stuff after accidentally knocking them off the shelves?

Watch him watch you take hours picking a shampoo, then another few hours picking conditioner.

Can he get tampons for you?

Does he line up for those "free taste" booths?

Watch how he reacts to long lines at the counter. Will he rant? Will he keep quiet? Will he insist on looking for a shorter line and race anyone to it?

Is he whiny? Or, what does he do when you whine?

Does he share stories of when he was at the grocery with his friends? His parents? When he was little?

Did you guys have fun doing just that?

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It's really just about confidence

As a self-proclaimed makeup addict (and a loud one at that!), I get asked a lot about what looks good on which skin tone, or what shade goes well with which stroke, or which strobing and contouring effects go together. While of course there are tons of articles online that will answer those questions and lots of real-life legit experts on this stuff to agree or disagree with them, I do have an answer of my own (and you can actually validate this with my friends):

"Hmm, okay lang. Whatever you feel like wearing. If you're comfortable naman eh, it will look good on you because you won't be too conscious."

--

Kung keri mo, kabog na 'yon.

--

I believe in being comfortable with your body. First, because it's beautiful-- it's a beautiful feeling to love your own body. Second, hey, you get only one body per lifetime (s/o to my Hindu friends) and so you're left to work with it for the duration of said lifetime. Third, if you're comfortable (therefore not too conscious) with yourself you can pay attention to other stuff going on around you, enjoy abovementioned lifetime more.



What do you think?

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The Last Summer

Girl in the Woods by Vincent Van Gogh, 1882

The Last Summer

By Sigrid Vasquez

  It was the summer of eight years ago, I could still remember. Everywhere, there was laughter and children playing. I remember how my friends and I skipped rocks by the cool lake in the morning, then our mothers would yell at us to come home and have lunch. After that they would nag and tell us to siesta, but not one of us really liked to sleep when there was much playing to be done. We would sneak out, all four of us girls: Martha, Poleng, Elay and I. We’d run for the little park right around the corner where our first task would have to be picking and making bracelets or necklaces with santan while talking and chatting and telling stories. We always had something to talk about, the girls and I. And not just the childish girly things like what to play next or how Elay’s older brother King picked on her again. Honestly, at our ages, I consider ourselves fairly more mature than others, or at least more curious and open. Ha, if only I could…

Anyway, when we’re satisfied with our little adornments, we’d play more physical things like hide-and-seek or tumbang-preso. Yes, us four girls were not very much into playing dolls or bahay-bahayan like the others. We ran, we skipped and we hopped more than most of the girls in the park. I think that’s the reason why we had more boy friends than the other girls; I saw that the boys didn’t really much like to play those silly girly things. Of course, we didn’t think those games were silly, we also played those (Poleng had many dolls), most of the time we just prefer to play games where we had to run and be sweaty ("amoy-araw", my mother would call me).

In all honesty, it was nice to play with the boys of the park. Actually, it was nice to be friends with them, period. They have all this energy and wit, and they never seem to run out of crazy ideas. I know we’re different from the other girls and to be frank, I think we’re superior to them for some obvious but ineffable reason. But being friends with the boys made me feel a whole new level of different. There was something about being with them that made me, in particular, feel challenged, like I have to live up to them and what they know. And little by little, I learned their ways and all. I could sometimes tell what they were going to do, what they were going to say. I guess you could say I’ve started to figure them out. For someone as curious as me, that is not a good thing. See, they lose their value once I’ve figured them out. I realized I had to find another with a challenge to keep my curious vibes in control.

One summer day, while making the biggest santan necklace after Poleng dared me to do it, Elay spilled something about a new boy in the neighborhood. He became friends with King, and he’s older than us. He was staying at his uncle’s house for the summer. I was so excited to meet this boy but I didn’t know why. Maybe because of my clever deductions, I realized that he must have more energy and wit than the regular boys in the park and would be overflowing with the craziest ideas. I shall befriend this boy, and we will have the best summer.

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Happy #InternationalWomensDay!

It's March 8th, and you know what that means!

So for today's post I compiled five quotes from five badass women through history. These quotes I deemed important for the world to hear right now, with all these noise and heartbreaks. Today is a celebration of women, born one or not.

Happy International Women's Day!

Sigrid

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About

About this blog

My thoughts and stuff in general has been around the 'sphere since about 2009, but this particular blog, "by sigrid" has been up since 2016. I've been migrating my favorite stuff from all of my other places to this one convenient blog. You can check out my other weblogs from all over the net, including Instagram and Twitter (@xosigrid)

This blog is mainly a personal, literary, and lifestyle blog, but you can catch really random posts from time to time.

About the author

My name is Sigrid and I am an early 20's Filipina residing in the Philippines. I was a psychology major at the University of Santo Tomas. I enjoy watching movies and doing a lot of DIY stuff.

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